STRUGGLE BUS!

struggling with this right now.

 I need to remember this today. I have not been able to persevere for awhile and I'm starting to panic, since Sunday is my first real 5k. I know I can walk parts of it, but I worked too hard to let that happen. With vacation, I was not hydrating properly and not getting enough potassium - and my body is telling me. My legs are cramping up again like they used to and after having so many painless runs, it is harder for me to persevere through it all.

me just this past week

On our ten hour drive home yesterday, I found pictures of me from college. When I looked at these, I thought to myself about how badly I wanted to be even thinner than I am in these pictures, however, I am REALLY thin in these! This was when I weighed 165-170 pounds. I am 6 feet tall, so that was a great weight for me. I didn't have as much muscle tone as I do now. My goal is 180 pounds. I would be thrilled with that, but long term getting back down to 165-170 would be my end-all, be-all goal. Right now, I'm shooting for a 30 pound loss to get down to 200 and then another short term 20 pound goal. By Christmas, I hope to be down to 200.

These pictures say a lot about how far I lost my control. All my binge/emotional eating has gotten me to this point and its hard to see. I don't usually take full-body pictures, because I don't like seeing it, but I will put all my insecurity out there for you all to see.

me circa 2011

I went to the metro parks by my house to try to get a change of scenery to motivate my run, however, all the people walking/running/biking past me really shook my confidence. I don't really want people to see me run, so I think sticking to my little neighborhood might be my best bet. I also may need to start carrying a plastic water bottle with me to hydrate on my runs. My throat gets really dry and I can't swallow.

I know anyone who has ran before and is reading this, know that these ups and downs occur, and I'm not going to let this stop me. As matter of fact, I've already started working harder to continue all the progress I have made even though I'm at a bit of a plateau currently (which is my own fault for not following my training plan, I might add). I already have a goal in mind for when I finish this 5k - I will begin work towards a 10k. It will be slow and steady and it will help me continue to keep moving and strive for a goal.

I hope everyone else has a great day!

Until next time-
Liz